just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
