alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
