i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize