I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
