Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
