I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Randomize
