Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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