It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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