i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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