What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
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