I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize