i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
