She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
