Im at strip club and am horny
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
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