Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize