Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
