I want to walk on stilts...naked
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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