Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
