I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I just found a bag of teeth...
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
