guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
