is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
You need Xanax blowdarts
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
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