1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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