with your own penis?
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
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