The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize