Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize