kristin has been a bad kristin
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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