Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Randomize
