these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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