you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
