Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
