he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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