The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
