i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
