bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
