Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize