I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
