Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
