Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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