i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
