i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
