You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
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