that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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