Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Randomize