The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
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