my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
