in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
do nipples grow back?
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