Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
