After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
