yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
