At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
