Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
