you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
