So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
