She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
