I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
