What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
The uberlube is also flammable
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Randomize
