just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
