Where are you?
In a non slutty way
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
