so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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