I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize