I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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