Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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