we have pet lesbian snakes
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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