I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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