Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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