idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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