My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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