I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
