white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize